So often Jason, (my brother), gets a wild hair and just has to post something and watch the dogs try to kill each other. LOL. I love my BB. He is only voicing his own beliefs and feelings on the subject of God. Yet people want so badly to put him in his place, (right beside "Satan" in an eternal burning hell.) Isn't it funny how these loving Christians are so quick to pass judgement and throw you to the fires? And people wonder why I have a gray view on most Christians. It's not all of them, but a vast majority. Even those who have realized that being that way is counterproductive to what they are trying to teach sometimes find it hard to turn their heads and bite their tongues when seeing someone else's beliefs put right in front of them. As hard as they try, they just have to remind you of their beliefs and tell you that you do not believe in the same God as they do. God love em! 8)~
I have always been the one who remains quiet as Jason tells his belief in God. I have always been intimidated by the average Christians ability to quote scripture at me and of their conviction. Who can debate with that when my own beliefs hold no scripture and even though my convictions are just as strong and passionate, to a Christian if you have conviction without scripture, you are just fighting. Well, I have faith in my beliefs just like they do, I have strong conviction in my spirituality and my relationship with God, just as they do. So I am tired of being quiet and allowing them their time to speak without speaking up and having my time to say how I feel.
So here I go...
I believe in God. Whether that God is the same God as you believe in, I can not say. I believe in a God that is a part of us, a part of me and you. Whether he made us or not, yes, I believe so. I believe we are apart of everything. We are all connected through God. I believe that God loves me and understands me like no one else does. Even myself. I believe that he loves me UNconditionally and that he knows my heart. I think that God is here, all around me always. When I forget to pray or to talk to him, he forgives me before I ask him to. If I say "Oh God!" about something and roll my eyes, he doesn't make a mark against me in some fictional book of names and sins. He made me, he knows I'm a stubborn, loud mouth, opinionated, smarty pants. He made me that way. I believe that everything that happens in life, down to the decisions we make just to go to a certain place at a certain time all are made for a reason that God knows first, then it is made clear to us. Everyone that we meet along our journey was placed in our path by God himself so that the person in front of us can help us along our path, and we them. I believe that when we meet someone who becomes part of our lives for the duration, our spouses, they are actually the other half of ourselves that was split from us before we were placed in our mother's tummy's, so that we could meet again in our lives and become one yet again. That's a gift from God. Our other half and then our children who are the remaining factors in making our lives whole. It's all God. I believe that when we do wrong, God wants us to say we're sorry, learn from it, teach others how not to make the same mistakes or how to get through them, and then move on. I believe we are here to learn and to teach. I also have a strong feeling that when we die, we do not wait in line to see if we made the magic list, but we are accepted into his home, and we are the best we have ever been in that moment.
Now for what I do not believe...
I do not believe that God only loves us unconditionally as long as we all believe the same and follow his rule! That's such a fantastic thought to me that I just can't wrap my head around it. How is that love? Why would we have been given free will if we were only to do as he says! Do we only love our children if they fall in line and do what we want them to do? No. We expect them to do right, yes. We expect them to be respectful of us, yes. We expect them to love others, yes. We want them to follow our rules, for their own good, not for our approval and acceptance. And when our children grow up and make their own rules and decisions, we do not turn them away and disown them if their rules are not the same as ours. So, why then would you believe that God would do that to us? He loves us,unconditionally. Many people do not know what that word means I think. There are so many people who have been told how to believe for so long that they no longer have the ability to think for themselves. They live in fear of making their own choices and believing their own beliefs. They have been told their whole lives that if they do that, they are demons or they are going to hell for eternity. They are told that God is almighty and that he is their Father, he is all loving and understanding...but then in the same breath they are told that he will condemn them if they do wrong by him. He will turn them away and not blink and eye about it. If they think something that goes against his "word", the Bible, they are guilty of sinning against him. They are taught his love and then his wrath all at the same time. It's as confusing as the Bible. One thing here, another there. No wonder they are so afraid to hear a belief that is not their own! I know that if I believed I would go to hell for having my own thoughts, I'd be terrified to do so too. I do not believe in judging others who believe differently than me. You may think I am beingjudgmental, but I am not. I do not harbor any bad feelings toward those who live by the Bible. I do however hold a guarded wall to the majority of them. I have been judged and screamed at and told I was going to hell so many times by "loving" Christians, that I can not help but cringe and get defensive most times. I hate that it's like that, but there it is. I automatically believe they are going to attack in the name of God.
So there you go. That's my heart, my soul, my belief. I know that a lot of you will not be able to help quoting scripture at me and telling me how wrong I am. I know a lot of prayers will go up for my soul tonight. (Thank you, it can't hurt, right?) I also know that a lot of you will think I am so lost that it's just sad. To you, I say you are wrong. I know where I stand. For the ones who just can not stop their fingers from typing to me that I am going to hell, (in a nice way of course.), I say I love you. Thank you for worrying about me, but I will stand next to you in my time. 8)
To God, (If he has internet that is), I say Thank You for loving me, understanding me and for taking me down the path you have set before me. Even when I fight to understand you and your plan, I can always sit, breathe and remember there is a reason for it. I will know it in time. I do not doubt you (all the time), and I trust in your love for me and mine for you. We have been through ups and downs, and yet I still feel you around me. That is real love. I can actually feel you snicker sometimes when someone tells me I am not good enough to be loved by you forever. I'm so glad you have a wonderful sense of humor! 8)~
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