I just want to point out that when you insinuate that someone is a bad parent, you should first look at yourself. Then, you need to ask yourself, "Why am I claiming that this person is a bad parent? Is this a valid argument? Do I have the whole story/scenario, or am I coming in with half knowledge?" If you answer these questions truthfully to yourself and still feel you're right, then figure out a way to bring it up to the parent, NOT in front of the children.
Now, I have to ask every mother on my friends list...to be honest with themselves and me, and answer me something.
1. Have you ever yelled at your kids?
2. Have you ever screamed at your kids?
3. Have you ever slipped and said a bad word in front of or at your kids? (ie. "Damn it...blah, blah, blah." or "I'm going to to whoop your a&^ if you...<insert bad action here> again".)
4. Have you ever forced your child to sit through a lecture on behavior, even if they tear up or start crying in order to get out of sitting through it?
5. Have you ever spanked your child?
6. Have you ever made a mistake while parenting?
7. Have you ever hurt your child's feelings?
8. Have you ever had enough and made your child go on silent for a certain amount of time, or made them go to their room until you decide they can come out?
9. Have you ever disciplined your child?
10. Have you ever been called a bad parent because of any of this?
For the person who continues to put me down and call me a bad Mom (in their own words and way), I have listed all of their beefs with me. I can answer YES! to every one of those questions. I can also say "Yes, this is me." to all of the following...
1. I am harder on myself than anyone else could ever even try to be. I try to be the best I can be, and fall short of perfect every time. BUT...even though I am not a perfect Mommy, I make sure they know they are loved.
2. I Love my kids and I do all I can to let them know that. I make sure they know they are loved.
3. I take care of them, their needs and their wants. I answer to their complaints, their grudges, their cries, their moans and groans, and I am there to cuddle them when they wake up from each and every bad dream. I make sure they know they are loved.
4. I make sure they are fed, clothed, bathed, their homework is done, their teeth and hair is brushed, their night time hugs and kisses are received and given, and I make sure they know they are loved.
5. I take them places, when finances permit. I do special little things for them and make sure their birthdays and other holidays are fantastic. I make sure they know they are loved.
6. I teach them to be nice, respectful, and responsible. It's not easy. Often they do not want to do the right thing, they want what is easy. I take this one very seriously. I do not want them to grow up without these lessons. I make sure they know they are loved.
7. I wake them up and make sure their day starts right. I tuck them in at night, and try my best to erase anything that wasn't pleasant during the day. I make sure they know they are loved.
8. I keep them safe, I keep them warm/cool, I make sure they do not go without. I make sure they know they are loved.
9. I stay at home, I do not go out. I stay with them, always. I do not leave them with just anyone so I can have fun. I am responsible for them and for my actions. I do not do drugs, I do not drink. I do not beat my kids. I do not neglect them. I also never get a break from being Mommy. That is not me complaining, but every mother knows how stressful that can be. I do not have friends that offer to take them for a few hours, I do not have family that babysits. I am 24/7/365 Mommy. It is the best and the hardest job-ever!
10. I watch tv with them, I sit and talk with them, I read with them, I shop with and for them, I try to teach them right from wrong and how to love. Notice I said try. I put in the effort and boy oh boy, do I ever try to do what's right. I make sure they know they are loved.
Now some people love to come in on half conversations, or put their noses in where they don't belong because they think they know and understand what's going on, but in all truth most of the time, they are guessing or assuming. I don't know anyone who has the right to step in between a Mother and her child (other than Daddy), and completely demean the parent in front of their child, UNLESS they are physically hurting that child. Or, Unless they are calling that child bad things or purposefully doing something to tear that child down. And even then, again, unless physically hurting, the parent should be talked to calmly and away from the kids. How dare someone think it is ok to take your parental authority away from you and make that child believe they (the person stepping in) are above the parent?! Is it ridiculous.
Some people need to learn their place, like it or not, and stay there. I think maybe some people are trying to make up for their own past mistakes through other people's parenting. It is impossible to do so, so step off.
I am not above admitting that I am not Mother of the Year. I have called my kids brats, selfish, mean, spoiled. I have yelled at them. I have screamed at them. (Especially when my child thinks it is ok to scream at me). I am a strict parent. I am a paranoid parent. I do my best to make sure my girls are safe and taken care of. I do my best to make sure they learn things that weren't taught to me as a child. I want my kids to have morals and values. Now, like I said, I often fall short. I am not proud of this. I am not bragging about any of the things I admitted to here. But I am honest and I will not hide from my shortcomings. I see them and I try to fix them and come back with what's right-every time. If I hurt my kids feelings, I apologize. If I know I was wrong, I apologize. I am still learning, everyday. As I learn, I grow and I change. Things I did wrong last year, I either have fixed or am in the process of fixing now. I will never be free from mistakes. I am NOT perfect. I do not know ANYONE who is. I look at other Mother's sometimes and I wonder, how do they do it? How do they keep their kids calm and polite? How do they keep them from fighting all the time? How do they not raise their voices at them? Then I realize, I am only seeing them for a short while. And while I know there are parents out there that have it together and all figured out, most people are only good for a short amount of time. They do yell, they do make mistakes and their kids aren't perfect. It's an illusion. The difference between myself and someone who would be considered a bad parent is this...I keep trying. I do not give up. Even when others want to bring me down or knock me on my butt, I keep trying. I would never give up on being a Mommy, a good Mommy and I'd never give up on my kids. It's the only thing I am sure enough to say "Never" about. I would not put anyone or anything above or before my kids. Even though sometimes, I am considered selfish for taking time for myself, while they are ten feet away. (Geez, come on.) So to those who want to call me abusive or a bad Mommy, I say..."Look in the mirror. Stay out of my business and let me be a Mommy. This is my turn, my chance. Just because you don't agree, just because I am not doing it your way, does not make me wrong. It makes me, Me. It makes me their Mommy. I'm doing my best, even if my best isn't good enough for you. I love my kids and I will continue to strive to show them that. I will fail, I will have my bad days. I can accept that. It's not up to you to accept my faults or to judge me. Know your place. I know mine."
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